XO, Farihah.

44: 0205 hours
Jam terus berdetik
dan berdetik
dan berdetik
Sehingga aku tak sedar bahawa
Pada satu tika
Jam itu
pasti mati.


43: Hidup

antara anugerah Tuhan yang manis,
namun memang tak sah kalau tak diimbangkan dengan rasa pahit, masam dan masinnya.

Tuhan dah pernah
beri aku rasa macam mana manisnya dunia ni
namun kini giliran aku untuk duduk di bawah
dan mendongak ke atas
untuk menyaksikan betapa besarnya
kuasa Dia.

Aku yakin
dengan jalan yang telah Tuhan sediakan untuk aku
walau sepahit mana pun

Aku sedar
silap dan salah aku
sungguh, terbukti aku ini manusia yang kerdil di mata-Nya
tak berkuasa tanpa izin Yang Maha Kuasa
kini sudah tiba masa
untuk aku lihat ke cermin
dan bersihkan kotoran diri

Aku tahu
Tuhan masih sayangkan aku.


42: Parallel

It’s surprising how one’s mind,
Can be so connected to another as if it was meant to bind,
One of a kind, truly,
A bliss I never expected,
A gift that never presented,
To this foolish self of mine,
Is this the long-awaited sign?
The key factor of a design,
The fraction of time where the stars align,
How little you know,
How you lessen my sorrow,
In every time of yours that I borrow,
I still hope to see you tomorrow

remind yourself that you’re adorable,
and you’re irreplaceable

- Khafh


No, this isn't something that I wrote. This special poem was written for me by him as a birthday gift for this year, 2018.
I truly,
appreciate it. Thank you, sayang. 

Honestly, he's such an amazing writer. I know it by heart that he can publish his own book one day. I don't think so, but I know it. He'll do great. One thing that I really love about him is how he can still be so nice and sweet no matter how many shits that life had been throwing at him, y'know. No matter how fucked up do you think you are, sweetheart, you still have a pure soul and wonderful traits. At least, in my eyes. I love the way you are right now. I just do.

XO, Farihah.

41: There's Someone Inside Your House
So, what do you think of whenever you heard someone saying, "There's someone inside your house"? I would never know the answer as I can't read whatever you're thinking about right now. But maybe, just maybe, there's a chance that someone would be creep out with the term. If you're sitting alone in the dark or when you're home alone, of course, you would never want to hear the term. That's normal.

But on the other day, when I was browsing some books at Border, IOI Putrajaya, I saw this one particular pink book in which entitled, yes, There's Someone Inside Your House. Now, here comes the next part. The first feeling that came to my heart was not scared... but I immediately felt safe and happy. Why? Because for me, the word house is what I use for heart too. For me, a heart is a home. Someone's heart could be your home, y'know?

Therefore, when I saw the title of the book, I was thrilled. I thought, "Hey, that's a good thing. There's someone inside your house. There's someone guarding there, there's someone that you think about. It's good, it's good." But then, I came to my senses and read the synopsis of the book, and realized that it was a rather creepy book about kidnapper. I laughed at my own thoughts. Truly, human mind is such a weird and surprising place. Oh God, I have so much to talk about right now. Ideas are flooding.

Now, remembering this one occasion, I just realized something.
My definition of "There's someone inside your house" is not the same as your "There's someone inside your house". Y' know? Everyone thinks differently.

Relating to that, I realize this too; What scares you might not scare me and what scares me might not scare you. Everyone is, really, really different. Just how many of us would sit down and really think about that particular sentence? We've been hearing that since younger till now, but I'm sure that not many absorbs the definition. Anyway, what did I mean by that sentence? That, what scares you might not scare me thingy? Oh, this, I'm talking about a specifically dark side of me that, I'm sure, no one knows about.

No one, and I mean, no one knows about this, that's why it is a big risk to talk about it here. Thus, I'm not going to talk about it here. Or maybe I could talk, like 1% of it? Hahaha. Just a little hint. 

Take a look at my 34th's post.

I am
by the words
such as
Lock me up.

Oh, honey, don't deny your dark sides.
They're wonderful.

Oops, way too much hints. Oh well, it's just a blog.

XO, Farihah.

40: Result Semester 3 & Degree Courses
Aight. As you may or may not know, I just finished my foundation in Information Technology at LKWU. Aaaand the results were already released this morning. Logging in into our university portal, I finally got to know my results. So far, alhamdulillah! Hehehe. I got 4.0 flat for Semester 3 and for my overall CGPA. Serious do, alhamdulillah.

I totally thought that I would go down maybe around 3.8 or 3.9 je do because aku rasa Semester 3 ni aku macam banyak lalai and tak fokus. Tup tup alhamdulillah, still ada rezeki untuk aku. Tolak effort aside, all these are not impossible without His permission. Hehe. Disebabkan blog ni bukannya ada ramai audiences pun hm, so aku rasa post gambar result aku kat sini tak dikira boasting or bragging kot hehehe. So, here are my results;

Pepandai korang la pahamkan gambar atas ni haha. Foundation experience was... okay I guess. I learnt a lot and met new, various kind of people. Honestly, memang neutral teruk do foundation. Kekadang ada jugak rasa bosan tu hm tapi so far okay ah. Aku rasa, antara semua semesters yang aku dah lalui, aku memang setia bencikan Data Communication. IDK man, aku ingatkan aku minat networking au, sekali Data Communication makes me realize that, NO, I DON'T LOVE NETWORKING. 

Which leads me to talk about my future degree course. Y'know, esok aku dah kena start register for Degree tau dekat LKWU, but until this exact moment, aku still taktahu for sure aku nak apa sebenarnya. Sure, aku tengah considering IT, Software Engineering, and ICT. Benda-benda yang business-related such as E-Commerce, Business in IT, and IT & Technopreneurship memang aku dah reject awal-awal sebab aku takleh handle business lol.

Let's compare all the subjects here, shall we?
(Note: The subjects that I bold below are the ones that I put under category "Cons")


Hm, to be honest, I think I can handle IT. Cuma aku rasa lemah sikit ah bila nampak Computer Architecture in Year 2, sebab beb, aku tak rasa aku leh pakar kot part tu. Computer Architecture, pada aku, memang complicated sikit. Ada belajar basic dia in foundation and fuh tu baru basic bhai. Aku bedal je time tu, nasib baik passed jugak.

Apparently, IT ada several subjects that focus on Business too like Business Communication Skill and E-Commerce Theories & Practices. Damn. I can see that this course could be challenging... but I'm still considering it. Alright, moving on!


So, Software Engineering or SE. I know that my mum would prefer me to choose this, but... let's see the subjects first. Honestly en aku rasa aku boleh cope with SE except Digital Modelling & Animation and Character Animation. Aku taktau asal tapi aku memang takde bakat melukis digital. And I'm pretty sure all the equipment needed in this course are pretty expensive? Maybe???? Not sure. 


Let's see ICT. Aite so, ICT is all about networking. I personally think networking is a bit difficult because it's about studying something that I can't see in front of my eyes, y'know. Networking is all these invisible ropes in the air that somehow can send our messages to each other. LOL. 

Urgh... so many subjects that I hate in ICT. I don't think I should have considered this at all.

So now, we have IT and SE.
What shall I pick between these two?
Because if we wanna talk about job opportunities and stuff, both of these are pretty okay.

XO, Farihah.

39: Alex Turner
Hallo guys. So, here am I, lifelessly typing on my laptop to tell non-existent audiences that I am officially making ALEX TURNER as my new artist crush. Haha boiii.

Alex Turner (this year 32) is the vocalist of Arctic Monkeys. He is also a guitarist and songwriter. Ufh the lyrics are just so poetic. I'm weak for beautiful written words. Damn. So, at first, my friend, F, introduced Arctic Monkeys to me few months ago. I admit, at first, I was only interested with their songs and music. Their songs are damn good. 

The first few songs of them that I knew were R U Mine?, Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High, and Do I Wanna Know. Then I discovered more and more of them. I wasn't interested in Alex.

Then, just now, when I was randomly browsing on Youtube (as usual, as usual, the life of a lifeless Farihah), I watched Arctic Monkeys singing Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High live. Oh damn. That moment I realized that Alex Turner has such a timeless voice and a very, very unique vibe. His movements and pronunciation are just so smooth and alluring. Damn. I like him a lot.

So, there you go. Introducing my latest crush; Alex Turner! Hahahaha. Okay bye.

XO, Farihah.

new past