47: The Most Important Thing
Hey...? HAHAHA weh aku rasa the last time aku update blog ni, like, 6 ke 7 bulan yang lepas kot? Around Mei or Jun? GAH DAMN. Lama gila. Taktahu kenapa, maybe sebab aku sibuk sikit dengan assignment and stuff, then makin lama makin lupa dekat blog ni walaupun blog nilah tempat yang aku luahkan semua benda dan melepaskan gian aku untuk menaip panjang-panjang. Okay okay, aku janji (ini janji palsu) untuk cuba update dengan lebih selalu. Heh. Nevermind. By the way, aku perasan yang post terakhir aku tu pasal habit yang aku nak buang which was nak kurangkan guna sosial media, kan? Well, here's the update.

I actually managed to be offline from social medias like Instagram and Twitter for straight 2 months. Not that impressing, to be honest, but it was still an accomplishment for me, y'know? Started from around July, kot.... then aku bukak balik around hujung September? Maybe? Or October? Oh no, aku tak ingat doh, tapi around that months lah. Bangga lah jugak sebenarnya. During that time, aku memang produktif gila and banyak rasa positif. Tapi at the same time, ramai jugak yang tak faham apa motif aku buat benda ni and suruh aku online balik. Lama-lama aku give up and bukak je balik. Lemah, kan? Tapi mampus lah, dua bulan tu lama okay. Next time boleh try lama lagi sikit. INSHA ALLAH LAH HAHAHA.

Okay so. Regarding to this topic, "The Most Important Thing". Waseh. Apa benda yang aku maksudkan ni? Nak bercerita ni. Nak pakai Bahasa Inggeris boleh? Boleh saja, sebab takde orang kisah or baca pun. Nice. Alright let's go gais. By the way, ada empat cerita pasal 4 orang paling penting dalam hidup aku sekarang selain family. Aku bahagikan into 4 sections supaya korang tak confused. Baik kan aku? Bye.

#Story 1

There was this one night when all of us were hanging out together at their house. There were Huda, Fattah, Aiman, Oggy, Adudu, Aliff, and me. I don't think Rashid was there because... I just think so. Or maybe he was there but he didn't join in our whole conversations. It was past midnight already and we were talking merrily when suddenly Aiman this question, "Ok cuba bagitahu aku, apa benda yang paling penting bagi korang? Selain family. Sorang-sorang bagitahu!"

Dup dap dup dap. My heartbeat was already increasing rapidly at the time because I was like, "Fuck, soalan apa tu babi?" because for me, those types of questions were personal even it was Aiman who asked. So Aiman asked one by one and I don't really what were remember their answers, honestly. I just remember that Aiman said for him, it was his friends and Fattah's answer was music. Then it was Huda's turn.

She looked so shyly sitting on the floor, trying to blend in. I know she was enjoying her time but Huda was a quiet person. Aiman looked at her and said, "Ha Huda, apa benda paling penting untuk kau?" Huda looked back at him and was like, "Benda paling penting? Selain family tu semua eh?"

Everyone nodded their heads and waited patiently for Huda's answer. She took a moment, looking away as she was quite hesitated (or embarassed) to say out loud her answer. But it only took her a few seconds before she finally said it.

"Hm... Farihah kot."

The moment she said my name was the moment I felt like there was a thunder zapping through my fragile heart. I was sitting lazily (almost baring) beside Aiman but after that I opened up my eyes widely. The reason why I was so surprised because I didn't expect her to answer that. I know that I was important to her but didn't know it was that much. They were "oooh"-ing that but I was pretty speechless and just mumbled some weird shit, feeling embarassed.

But I knew at the moment that I was going to protect her at all cost. I know I have failed a few times, but I'm just gonna keep trying. She had been there for me since the earliest days of my Limkokwing days. She had always tried her best and never failed to give me attention even I was a bitch sometimes. Thank you. <3

#Story 2

This is the story of  a different day. With his teary voice whilst looking down at the floor, in the faint darkness, he said the words.

"Terima kasih sebab jumpa aku."

How could I ever forget words like that? I know that we're just friends but from that moment, he was like a brother to me. He even calls me 'adik' from time to time just to remind me how much my presence means to him. A brother that I never had. And no, God please, he's not Aliff. Someone else.

#Story 3

From, a series of stupid laughter, "KoPeHal" and "SuKaTi La",
"I love you so much that I want to know how your day went, what did you eat" and "I love everything about you",
"I have commitments" and "You are my past" and "Not everything is about you",
"You are my best friend. I appreciate you :)".
Yes, those are his words for me. I mean, not that accurate but really close enough. Fattah is also another very, very important part of my life that I would never forget. He taught me a lot of things that I couldn't list down them one by one here, but that's okay. I admit, we had a roller coaster journeys together but then again it just means that what we had together wouldn't easily be experienced again with another. Our days started with our shared passion towards writing poems and rings, as far as I remember. Of course, we still keep in contact to these days but only time will tell what happens in the future. Take care and thank you for everything :)

#Story 4

We first met when we were both still hingusan and bodoh, at the early of adorable thirteen. Many people would never understand our relationship because they thought that we don't fit in with each other. Chazo, you are the crazy, rebellious kid in our batch with red-coloured hair and breaking the rules. Meanwhile, Mario, which is me, was the nice kid who followed the rules and thought that skipping assembly was already cool enough. I guess what actually bonded us together was our taste in music - pop punk and alternative rock. We would share our passion towards Gerard Way and drums and head bangs together until we found the perfect moment to share our emotional problems - all the reasons why we became who we are. 

The crazy thing was we always had our conversations at stairs! Hahahaha. Everytime orang nak lalu lalang tulah kita duk mengganggu jalan sampai ramai orang confused and merungut. Fuck y'all!!! Idk, Chazo, we were always there for each other and I don't think I have to say how important you are to me because you know that. You know that by heart. We are mess but at least we have each other's backs. I really hope that this 5 to 6 years of friendship would last for more years and years and years. Lebiu so much hehe gedik la pulak. 

"Aku tak mampu hidup tanpa kau."
-Chazo, 12 Januari-


That was all.
Malas nak taip dah. Thanks baca!!!! <33333


new past