Generally, I'd like to think that I am a fairly friendly person. Kiranya, if I ever meet someone new, it is not hard for me to open up topics and talk to them about almost anything. I don't mind sharing my experiences and thoughts with strangers as I want them to do the same as me. It's always been nice to talk with people... I think I am an ambivert but maybe more inclined towards "extrovert". Haha probably. 

But lately... entahlah eh. Sure, I don't mind talking to strangers and friends - it's fun! But recently aku rasa cam dah makin malas nak cakap pasal diri sendiri. I can listen, sure, but I don't feel like sharing my thoughts anymore. Why ya? I am not sure either. And I find myself really hard to trust people again (this excluded my close, close friends & family, of course). Bila aku nak kenal orang baru tu... rasa cam, How would I know that I can trust this person? What if they tell everyone they know about my personal thoughts? What if they think I'm stupid? What would I do if they turn out to be either toxic or abusive?

Thoughts like that.

But it's not like I can do anything about it. I just have to keep on trying and opening up to people, I guess. Not gonna lie, though, it's really hard. It really is. I just treasure the close peeps that I know now. They are precious. Thank you for everything, and especially for staying even after knowing me lmao. I just want to stay inside my cave right now and sleep for years. Impossible but eh. A dream is still a dream, kan? Hahaha. 

....

...I don't wanna live anymore.

XO,

Farihah.